Hello, My name is Becky and I'm an American living in Bahrain.
“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” ― Terry Pratchett
Today's expat blog challenge is to respond to this quote. I really like it because it rings really true. When I was in my 20s I had a chance to go back to Menlo Park, the elementary school I'd attended from K-6th grade. This building had been so big in my memories. There were three separate wings that stretched forever, a endless breezeway, a huge playground with tall, sloping hills on either side of the grass fields and a steep cement slope down to the parking lot. I remember chipping at that cement in first grade playing paleontologist with friends when the annual asphalt overlay job was sloppily done. I remember how huge and scary the gym seemed- mostly because I was horrible at PE. Especially climbing the rope- which seemed to stretch a mile in the sky. I was sure I would fall and die if I ever managed to get to the top, but never had the upper body strength or coordination to get more than two and a half feet off the ground. When I went back, I felt like Gulliver in Lilliput. Those slopes were barely inclines. The playground was small supermarket parking-lot sized. The hallways were quickly traversed. The gym ceiling wasn't that high. It was eerily the same and completely new.
I think we have to go away to appreciate home. I have really appreciated more about my past experiences for having left them behind. I've become more grateful for what I had, when it seemed so everyday life before. Like being able to easily visit family for the holidays or having a constant supply of Goldfish! And don't even get me started about how gorgeous a summer in the Pacific Northwest is compared to dusty dullness of the Middle East in summer. Even the air tastes green and alive.
The part about people seeing you differently rings true too. We were an All-American Family with our two kids, our mortgage, our middle class professions and our mid-sized auto. Going overseas instantly gives you a new "I'm adventurous and cosmopolitan" vibe. It made us more unpredictable. I think it helped our families think of us as more grown-up, even though it had been over a decade of marriage and career by that point.
I think if we would have stayed, I would have always wondered. Now I know. I know and when I do go home, it will be both with new appreciation and eyes wide open. I think I will see opportunities and possibilities I wouldn't have before.
If advising others considering going overseas, I would almost always advise for going. It is such a maturing, broadening thing. It could be the adventure of a lifetime that could last a lifetime or be a quick experiment that makes them appreciate how good things are at home. No wondering about a chance you didn't take. A win no matter what.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Making a list...
Hello, my name is Becky and I'm an American living in Bahrain.
Today's expat blog challenge is "something I still haven't seen in my expat country."
We've done pretty good. I broke out my 100 Things to Do in Bahrain guide and we've done a good amount. Still to do are the Beit Al Qur'an (a huge collection of Qur'anic manuscripts), the Rashid Al Oraifi Museum (a local artists inspired by the Dilmun civilization) , Shaikh Ibrahim bin Mohammed Al Khalifa House, the Bani Jamra Village (where they weave traditional cloth- I have actually looked a few times but can't figure out where to go), the oil museum, and the Al Dar and Hawar islands.
I also want to get henna done- Evelyn has several times but not me. And I want to eat a traditional Bahraini breakfast and drink liqah water (palm tree water). I'd also like to ride a horse here, just once, to satisfy my inner 10-year-old. And I'd also love to see a dugong. They are like manatees, but with a snout that points down- but I think they are pretty rare. I'd also love to experience a traditional wedding, but I don't know how I could angle myself into attending one!
Today's expat blog challenge is "something I still haven't seen in my expat country."
We've done pretty good. I broke out my 100 Things to Do in Bahrain guide and we've done a good amount. Still to do are the Beit Al Qur'an (a huge collection of Qur'anic manuscripts), the Rashid Al Oraifi Museum (a local artists inspired by the Dilmun civilization) , Shaikh Ibrahim bin Mohammed Al Khalifa House, the Bani Jamra Village (where they weave traditional cloth- I have actually looked a few times but can't figure out where to go), the oil museum, and the Al Dar and Hawar islands.
I also want to get henna done- Evelyn has several times but not me. And I want to eat a traditional Bahraini breakfast and drink liqah water (palm tree water). I'd also like to ride a horse here, just once, to satisfy my inner 10-year-old. And I'd also love to see a dugong. They are like manatees, but with a snout that points down- but I think they are pretty rare. I'd also love to experience a traditional wedding, but I don't know how I could angle myself into attending one!
Tastes like home
Hello, My name is Becky and I am an American living in Bahrain.
The expat blog challenge prompt is "tastes like home" and my answer is the following:
Kraft Medium Cheddar Cheese
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
Pepperidge Farm Goldfish
Campbell's Tomato Soup (with grilled cheese made with Kraft Cheddar to dip:)
Homemade chocolate chip cookies (I use the Toll House recipe but the chips here are Hershey's)
These little treats taste like home and are worth the occasional splurge. I really tried to buy the English and Australian cheddars, but they just weren't the same. I make homemade mac once in a while and it is super rich and super good. But my kids love the easy cheesy goodness of a Kraft dinner. That bright orange cheese powder is hard to beat. And Goldfish- my kids love them some Goldfish. This last summer we went to the factory and bought a ton of these for super cheap. But here I spend $5 on the occasional small bag Thing One and Thing Two blow through in two days. Tomato soup and grilled cheese is an ultimate comfort food meal for me- not at all healthy but so soul satisfying. And homemade chocolate chip cookies are one of the most romantic gestures I can make to my husband. He LOVES them. Is there anything a big plate of fresh cookies can't fix? Not much!
The expat blog challenge prompt is "tastes like home" and my answer is the following:
Kraft Medium Cheddar Cheese
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
Pepperidge Farm Goldfish
Campbell's Tomato Soup (with grilled cheese made with Kraft Cheddar to dip:)
Homemade chocolate chip cookies (I use the Toll House recipe but the chips here are Hershey's)
These little treats taste like home and are worth the occasional splurge. I really tried to buy the English and Australian cheddars, but they just weren't the same. I make homemade mac once in a while and it is super rich and super good. But my kids love the easy cheesy goodness of a Kraft dinner. That bright orange cheese powder is hard to beat. And Goldfish- my kids love them some Goldfish. This last summer we went to the factory and bought a ton of these for super cheap. But here I spend $5 on the occasional small bag Thing One and Thing Two blow through in two days. Tomato soup and grilled cheese is an ultimate comfort food meal for me- not at all healthy but so soul satisfying. And homemade chocolate chip cookies are one of the most romantic gestures I can make to my husband. He LOVES them. Is there anything a big plate of fresh cookies can't fix? Not much!
personality traits?
Hello, My name is Becky and I am an American living in Bahrain.
Trying to catch up again on the expat blog challenge! The prompt was the trait I possess that most equipped me for life abroad or the trait I possess that held me back the most or both.
I think the trait that equipped me most for life abroad is my sense of adventure. I love doing new things, going new places and trying new foods. I love researching out things to do and then going to do them. We have had so many great experiences. Sometimes there is even good in the bad, like a disastrous fish and chips meal (fish with no seasoning- not even salt, served with soggy salt-less fries) we tried to eat at a fly-infested, sewage stinky beach. Worst meal here, but we will always remember it! Sure, McDs and the mall is easier with two kids in tow, but how would we ever know of our four year old's love of butter chicken or our ten year olds fear of camels since they once tried to munch her blonde hair?
The trait I possess that has held me back the most has been my shyness. I wish I was more outgoing and bubbly. I have two great friends that haven't ever met a stranger and could talk with anyone about anything at anytime and be perfectly at ease. In groups of three or more, I get pretty quiet. But I am getting a lot better at making small talk and getting to meet those around me.
Trying to catch up again on the expat blog challenge! The prompt was the trait I possess that most equipped me for life abroad or the trait I possess that held me back the most or both.
I think the trait that equipped me most for life abroad is my sense of adventure. I love doing new things, going new places and trying new foods. I love researching out things to do and then going to do them. We have had so many great experiences. Sometimes there is even good in the bad, like a disastrous fish and chips meal (fish with no seasoning- not even salt, served with soggy salt-less fries) we tried to eat at a fly-infested, sewage stinky beach. Worst meal here, but we will always remember it! Sure, McDs and the mall is easier with two kids in tow, but how would we ever know of our four year old's love of butter chicken or our ten year olds fear of camels since they once tried to munch her blonde hair?
The trait I possess that has held me back the most has been my shyness. I wish I was more outgoing and bubbly. I have two great friends that haven't ever met a stranger and could talk with anyone about anything at anytime and be perfectly at ease. In groups of three or more, I get pretty quiet. But I am getting a lot better at making small talk and getting to meet those around me.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
my accent?
I talked in a really high, whispery voice all growing up. In college, I was friends with a psychology major who diagnosed this as a some kind of weird coping mechanism from childhood trauma. Who knows. I grew out of it. I met Roger, got more confident and happy, and started talking in my "real" voice.
Living in Bahrain, when I go to Toys R Us, they profile you with your nationality, age, etc. They always enter European instead of American. (They also think I am ancient- so maybe I shouldn't put too much weight on this). I've been asked where I'm from frequently and the first guess is always Canadian or "somewhere in Europe?"
I think it is because a lot of the Americans here are oil workers from Texas, Navy personnel from the South or bankers from the East Coast. I have a West Coast accent for sure- which I like to think of as a non-accent. It is more relaxed, more open and friendly, more like Canada without the weird about and eh.
My daughter was starting to get a slangy country accent before we moved here. She said things like her bike got jacked, or somebody "stolled" it. With a little Spanglish thrown in for good measure- thanks to her amigas.
Now that we have been here three years, my son is coming home asking for help buttoning his trousers, asking for ta-MAH-to soup and coloring ZEB-ras for the letter "zed". He is four and this is adorable!
In the meantime, my daughter cannot speak a sentence without a "yanni" which is like a Bahraini- "you know", "kind of", "like" or "so" speech filler as far as I can tell? It is also pretty cute.
We had friends from Texas that sent their kids to a British school here and they had the cutest mixed up accents I ever did hear!
Living in Bahrain, when I go to Toys R Us, they profile you with your nationality, age, etc. They always enter European instead of American. (They also think I am ancient- so maybe I shouldn't put too much weight on this). I've been asked where I'm from frequently and the first guess is always Canadian or "somewhere in Europe?"
I think it is because a lot of the Americans here are oil workers from Texas, Navy personnel from the South or bankers from the East Coast. I have a West Coast accent for sure- which I like to think of as a non-accent. It is more relaxed, more open and friendly, more like Canada without the weird about and eh.
My daughter was starting to get a slangy country accent before we moved here. She said things like her bike got jacked, or somebody "stolled" it. With a little Spanglish thrown in for good measure- thanks to her amigas.
Now that we have been here three years, my son is coming home asking for help buttoning his trousers, asking for ta-MAH-to soup and coloring ZEB-ras for the letter "zed". He is four and this is adorable!
In the meantime, my daughter cannot speak a sentence without a "yanni" which is like a Bahraini- "you know", "kind of", "like" or "so" speech filler as far as I can tell? It is also pretty cute.
We had friends from Texas that sent their kids to a British school here and they had the cutest mixed up accents I ever did hear!
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
blogs I admire
Hello, my name is Becky and I'm an American living in Bahrain.
Today's expat blog challenge is to name a blog you admire.
My first pick is Modern Mrs. Darcy. Named for Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice character, Elizabeth Bennett, this blog covers books, relationships / family, looking and feeling your best and more. I love the posts on cult favorites, life lessons from Anne of Green Gables and her Stich Fix scores. I feel like if I ever met Anne, the woman behind the blog, we would be good friends.
I like a lot of the blogs I've read through the blog challenge. And the blog of my family and friends that show up in my dashboard feed. But that is about it. Most of the other blogs I used to read were coupon deals. A few blogs I used to frequent have become full on websites now and they include:
The Art of Simple : written by a former expat, homeschooling, simplifier. Good articles that make me think, nice weekend link roundup.
Money Saving Mom : Mostly couponing deals, but I like the stories of frugal encouragement ala Dave Ramsey- paying off houses, etc. I also like her recipes.
I also like a few aspirational blogs, that I started looking at pre-Pintrest, like No Fuss Fabulous, I Heart Organizing, and One Hundred Dollars a Month. Because I like beautiful stationary and fantasizing about throwing my kids magazine worthy birthday parties that have event planners, looking at beautifully organized closets and storage solutions and dreaming about being a NW urban gardener and dabbling in free-ganism. Because none of those contradict each other at all.
I need to find an affordable fashion blog- I used to read my niece's, but lost track of it. I love on-line window shopping at Boden and Anthropologie, but I am on a Target budget!
Today's expat blog challenge is to name a blog you admire.
My first pick is Modern Mrs. Darcy. Named for Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice character, Elizabeth Bennett, this blog covers books, relationships / family, looking and feeling your best and more. I love the posts on cult favorites, life lessons from Anne of Green Gables and her Stich Fix scores. I feel like if I ever met Anne, the woman behind the blog, we would be good friends.
I like a lot of the blogs I've read through the blog challenge. And the blog of my family and friends that show up in my dashboard feed. But that is about it. Most of the other blogs I used to read were coupon deals. A few blogs I used to frequent have become full on websites now and they include:
The Art of Simple : written by a former expat, homeschooling, simplifier. Good articles that make me think, nice weekend link roundup.
Money Saving Mom : Mostly couponing deals, but I like the stories of frugal encouragement ala Dave Ramsey- paying off houses, etc. I also like her recipes.
I also like a few aspirational blogs, that I started looking at pre-Pintrest, like No Fuss Fabulous, I Heart Organizing, and One Hundred Dollars a Month. Because I like beautiful stationary and fantasizing about throwing my kids magazine worthy birthday parties that have event planners, looking at beautifully organized closets and storage solutions and dreaming about being a NW urban gardener and dabbling in free-ganism. Because none of those contradict each other at all.
I need to find an affordable fashion blog- I used to read my niece's, but lost track of it. I love on-line window shopping at Boden and Anthropologie, but I am on a Target budget!
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Can you go back?
Hello, my name is Becky and I am an American living in Bahrain.
Today's expat blog challenge prompt is: “It is a bitter-sweet thing, knowing two cultures. Once you leave your birthplace nothing is ever the same.” ― Sarah Turnbull
This quote rings true to me. Only a handful of my high school graduating class went out of state for college. The nearby community college took so many it was thought of as High School Part 2: the Sequel. A few other in state colleges recruited from our ranks. Others went straight to jobs or family life. But I think there were only four or five of us that went out of state.
I always knew I would go away for college. My parents were big into that- you graduate- you leave. So I did. After our all night graduation party, I had a split second chance to accept an invitation to breakfast with a former crush...but I didn't go because I was leaving to start my freshman year of college a week later. Why bother? (Not very Before Sunrise of me.) Summer semester- that was my senior trip I guess.
So a year later, I get back to P-town and have managed to loose touch with most everyone and the handful I had kept in contact with still all had life in common still. They saw each other the weekend before, knew the same local news, liked the same local band, knew who was seeing who. I had been happy to leave, but it made me really sad to know that there was not much for me at home. I felt like friends thought I thought I was too good to stick around, but I didn't feel superior at all- I just felt like I didn't belong anymore.
Luckily, during one of those trips back home, I met my handsome husband. We went to the same high school and know a lot of the same people, but with a six year age gap, we didn't know each other. (Thank goodness he escaped my very awkward teen years). I love that we have a common past. We understand each other better because we know where we came from. I love that we were able to go away together and build a life together.
We moved to a small farm town and put down firm roots. We loved our community and made friends and acquaintances so wonderful they felt like family. I was actually pretty jealous of all the farm kids there that grew up knowing each other their whole lives- that went to college then returned to the farm when they got married and started families of their own. They had such a great sense of home and family. It was a great place and we joked that we should buy cemetery plots there because we'd live there till we died. But then we felt prompted to uproot and go. When it is time to go, it seems like there are things that push you that way, that make it easier for you to leave. Ties loosen. We've gone back and visited. We still have strong ties there- a house, great friends, but I wonder if we could go back and feel at home again.
I think about the experiences I've had now. I think about what my life would be like if we did go back. It is hard to imagine. We've missed out on a few years there now- I bet I'd be talking to friends and they'd say "Didn't you know that? Oh, yeah- that happened when you were gone..." They are such good friends that I am sure we could pick up where we left off- but when I left they were into couponing and now I think they are into running half-marathons- not sure if I can run with the pack anymore! In the meantime, my cool overseas experiences would be glamorous for all of three seconds. And I know I would fight the "well in Bahrain, we did...." monster. Constantly comparing. I would miss things about here so very much. And where is home anyway? Our childhood city stomping grounds? The town we made ours when we bought a house and had babies there? Anywhere in the Pacific Northwest or the USA?
Maybe we'll just have to band together with other former expats to navigate the bumpy return home when we decide we want our kids to have the all-American upbringing we had. It will be bitter-sweet. As much as I long for home, I love the adventure we are having- welcomed as a stranger in a strange land. I know I will never truly feel like overseas is home, but now that I've seen more of the world, I know that home will never feel like home again either. Hopefully, I'll end up in a very self-actualized place where I am at home in all of the world!
Today's expat blog challenge prompt is: “It is a bitter-sweet thing, knowing two cultures. Once you leave your birthplace nothing is ever the same.” ― Sarah Turnbull
This quote rings true to me. Only a handful of my high school graduating class went out of state for college. The nearby community college took so many it was thought of as High School Part 2: the Sequel. A few other in state colleges recruited from our ranks. Others went straight to jobs or family life. But I think there were only four or five of us that went out of state.
I always knew I would go away for college. My parents were big into that- you graduate- you leave. So I did. After our all night graduation party, I had a split second chance to accept an invitation to breakfast with a former crush...but I didn't go because I was leaving to start my freshman year of college a week later. Why bother? (Not very Before Sunrise of me.) Summer semester- that was my senior trip I guess.
So a year later, I get back to P-town and have managed to loose touch with most everyone and the handful I had kept in contact with still all had life in common still. They saw each other the weekend before, knew the same local news, liked the same local band, knew who was seeing who. I had been happy to leave, but it made me really sad to know that there was not much for me at home. I felt like friends thought I thought I was too good to stick around, but I didn't feel superior at all- I just felt like I didn't belong anymore.
Luckily, during one of those trips back home, I met my handsome husband. We went to the same high school and know a lot of the same people, but with a six year age gap, we didn't know each other. (Thank goodness he escaped my very awkward teen years). I love that we have a common past. We understand each other better because we know where we came from. I love that we were able to go away together and build a life together.
We moved to a small farm town and put down firm roots. We loved our community and made friends and acquaintances so wonderful they felt like family. I was actually pretty jealous of all the farm kids there that grew up knowing each other their whole lives- that went to college then returned to the farm when they got married and started families of their own. They had such a great sense of home and family. It was a great place and we joked that we should buy cemetery plots there because we'd live there till we died. But then we felt prompted to uproot and go. When it is time to go, it seems like there are things that push you that way, that make it easier for you to leave. Ties loosen. We've gone back and visited. We still have strong ties there- a house, great friends, but I wonder if we could go back and feel at home again.
I think about the experiences I've had now. I think about what my life would be like if we did go back. It is hard to imagine. We've missed out on a few years there now- I bet I'd be talking to friends and they'd say "Didn't you know that? Oh, yeah- that happened when you were gone..." They are such good friends that I am sure we could pick up where we left off- but when I left they were into couponing and now I think they are into running half-marathons- not sure if I can run with the pack anymore! In the meantime, my cool overseas experiences would be glamorous for all of three seconds. And I know I would fight the "well in Bahrain, we did...." monster. Constantly comparing. I would miss things about here so very much. And where is home anyway? Our childhood city stomping grounds? The town we made ours when we bought a house and had babies there? Anywhere in the Pacific Northwest or the USA?
Maybe we'll just have to band together with other former expats to navigate the bumpy return home when we decide we want our kids to have the all-American upbringing we had. It will be bitter-sweet. As much as I long for home, I love the adventure we are having- welcomed as a stranger in a strange land. I know I will never truly feel like overseas is home, but now that I've seen more of the world, I know that home will never feel like home again either. Hopefully, I'll end up in a very self-actualized place where I am at home in all of the world!
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