personality traits?

Hello, My name is Becky and I am an American living in Bahrain.


Trying to catch up again on the expat blog challenge! The prompt was the trait I possess that most equipped me for life abroad or the trait I possess that held me back the most or both.


I think the trait that equipped me most for life abroad is my sense of adventure. I love doing new things, going new places and trying new foods. I love researching out things to do and then going to do them. We have had so many great experiences. Sometimes there is even good in the bad, like a disastrous fish and chips meal (fish with no seasoning- not even salt, served with soggy salt-less fries) we tried to eat at a fly-infested, sewage stinky beach. Worst meal here, but we will always remember it! Sure, McDs and the mall is easier with two kids in tow, but how would we ever know of our four year old's love of butter chicken or our ten year olds fear of camels since they once tried to munch her blonde hair?


The trait I possess that has held me back the most has been my shyness. I wish I was more outgoing and bubbly. I have two great friends that haven't ever met a stranger and could talk with anyone about anything at anytime and be perfectly at ease. In groups of three or more, I get pretty quiet. But I am getting a lot better at making small talk and getting to meet those around me.

my accent?

I talked in a really high, whispery voice all growing up. In college, I was friends with a psychology major who diagnosed this as a some kind of weird coping mechanism from childhood trauma. Who knows. I grew out of it. I met Roger, got more confident and happy, and started talking in my "real" voice.


Living in Bahrain, when I go to Toys R Us, they profile you with your nationality, age, etc. They always enter European instead of American. (They also think I am ancient- so maybe I shouldn't put too much weight on this).  I've been asked where I'm from frequently and the first guess is always Canadian or "somewhere in Europe?"


I think it is because a lot of the Americans here are oil workers from Texas, Navy personnel from the South or bankers from the East Coast. I have a West Coast accent for sure- which I like to think of as a non-accent. It is more relaxed, more open and friendly, more like Canada without the weird about and eh.


My daughter was starting to get a slangy country accent before we moved here. She said things like her bike got jacked, or somebody "stolled" it. With a little Spanglish thrown in for good measure- thanks to her amigas.


Now that we have been here three years, my son is coming home asking for help buttoning his trousers, asking for ta-MAH-to soup and coloring ZEB-ras for the letter "zed". He is four and this is adorable!


In the meantime, my daughter cannot speak a sentence without a "yanni" which is like a Bahraini- "you know", "kind of", "like" or "so" speech filler as far as I can tell? It is also pretty cute.


We had friends from Texas that sent their kids to a British school here and they had the cutest mixed up accents I ever did hear!

blogs I admire

Hello, my name is Becky and I'm an American living in Bahrain.


Today's expat blog challenge is to name a blog you admire.


My first pick is Modern Mrs. Darcy. Named for Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice character, Elizabeth Bennett, this blog covers books, relationships / family, looking and feeling your best and more. I love the posts on cult favorites, life lessons from Anne of Green Gables and her Stich Fix scores. I feel like if I ever met Anne, the woman behind the blog, we would be good friends.


I like a lot of the blogs I've read through the blog challenge. And the blog of my family and friends that show up in my dashboard feed. But that is about it. Most of the other blogs I used to read were coupon deals. A few blogs I used to frequent have become full on websites now and they include:


The Art of Simple : written by a former expat, homeschooling, simplifier. Good articles that make me think, nice weekend link roundup.


Money Saving Mom : Mostly couponing deals, but I like the stories of frugal encouragement ala Dave Ramsey- paying off houses, etc. I also like her recipes.


I also like a few aspirational blogs, that I started looking at pre-Pintrest, like No Fuss Fabulous, I Heart Organizing, and One Hundred Dollars a Month.  Because I like beautiful stationary and fantasizing about throwing my kids magazine worthy birthday parties that have event planners, looking at beautifully organized closets and storage solutions and dreaming about being a NW urban gardener and dabbling in free-ganism. Because none of those contradict each other at all.


I need to find an affordable fashion blog- I used to read my niece's, but lost track of it. I love on-line window shopping at Boden and Anthropologie, but I am on a Target budget!

Can you go back?

Hello, my name is Becky and I am an American living in Bahrain.


Today's expat blog challenge prompt is:  “It is a bitter-sweet thing, knowing two cultures. Once you leave your birthplace nothing is ever the same.” ― Sarah Turnbull


This quote rings true to me. Only a handful of my high school graduating class went out of state for college. The nearby community college took so many it was thought of as High School Part 2: the Sequel. A few other in state colleges recruited from our ranks. Others went straight to jobs or family life. But I think there were only four or five of us that went out of state.


I always knew I would go away for college. My parents were big into that- you graduate- you leave. So I did. After our all night graduation party, I had a split second chance to accept an invitation to breakfast with a former crush...but I didn't go because I was leaving to start my freshman year of college a week later. Why bother? (Not very Before Sunrise of me.) Summer semester- that was my senior trip I guess.


So a year later, I get back to P-town and have managed to loose touch with most everyone and the handful I had kept in contact with still all had life in common still. They saw each other the weekend before, knew the same local news, liked the same local band, knew who was seeing who. I had been happy to leave, but it made me really sad to know that there was not much for me at home. I felt like friends thought I thought I was too good to stick around, but I didn't feel superior at all- I just felt like I didn't belong anymore.


Luckily, during one of those trips back home, I met my handsome husband. We went to the same high school and know a lot of the same people, but with a six year age gap, we didn't know each other. (Thank goodness he escaped my very awkward teen years). I love that we have a common past. We understand each other better because we know where we came from. I love that we were able to go away together and build a life together.


We moved to a small farm town and put down firm roots. We loved our community and made friends and acquaintances so wonderful they felt like family. I was actually pretty jealous of all the farm kids there that grew up knowing each other their whole lives- that went to college then returned to the farm when they got married and started families of their own. They had such a great sense of home and family. It was a great place and we joked that we should buy cemetery plots there because we'd live there till we died. But then we felt prompted to uproot and go. When it is time to go, it seems like there are things that push you that way, that make it easier for you to leave. Ties loosen. We've gone back and visited. We still have strong ties there- a house, great friends, but I wonder if we could go back and feel at home again.


I think about the experiences I've had now. I think about what my life would be like if we did go back. It is hard to imagine. We've missed out on a few years there now- I bet I'd be talking to friends and they'd say "Didn't you know that? Oh, yeah- that happened when you were gone..." They are such good friends that I am sure we could pick up where we left off- but when I left they were into couponing and now I think they are into running half-marathons- not sure if I can run with the pack anymore! In the meantime, my cool overseas experiences would be glamorous for all of three seconds. And I know I would fight the "well in Bahrain, we did...." monster. Constantly comparing. I would miss things about here so very much. And where is home anyway? Our childhood city stomping grounds? The town we made ours when we bought a house and had babies there? Anywhere in the Pacific Northwest or the USA?


Maybe we'll just have to band together with other former expats to navigate the bumpy return home when we decide we want our kids to have the all-American upbringing we had. It will be bitter-sweet. As much as I long for home, I love the adventure we are having- welcomed as a stranger in a strange land. I know I will never truly feel like overseas is home, but now that I've seen more of the world, I know that home will never feel like home again either. Hopefully, I'll end up in a very self-actualized place where I am at home in all of the world!

Left behind

Hello, My name is Becky and I am an American living in Bahrain.


Trying to play catch up on my expat blog challenge- crazy week! So one of the prompts I missed was something I left behind.


What to pick among the many treasures left in boxes stored in my parent's garage? Or maybe I should go deeper and talk about leaving behind family, friends and community. So hard to pick one.


But I keep thinking about my friend Kelli's truth that most expats are running away from something. I didn't ever think this applied to me really. But I've been thinking about it and I think maybe I did leave something behind- some of my identity and purpose.


I was super involved in my community before we moved overseas. I was on city council for a time, served on the library committee and the parks commission, and wrote for our local paper. I was in a mothers of preschoolers group, volunteered in my daughter's classroom and went to playgroup. I worked with kids from nursery to youth at our church. We had lots of really good friends and neighbors. I felt like I knew who I was. I felt like I made a difference, was appreciated and liked.


Then I became an 'accompanying spouse'. And didn't know what to say about myself when meeting all these new people.  I didn't have a job. I was staying at home with a toddler in a nanny culture. I was afraid to drive at first. I felt paralyzed by the overwhelming newness of everything. And Bahrain is pretty easy...not that foreign or remote. It was a great baby step and if we get another adventure- hopefully I'll be better prepared.


But I really floundered. I felt lost. I had no friends, no identity. I didn't feel needed or like I was making a difference- I was home alone with my two year-old, trapped inside because it was too hot to go anywhere- going stir crazy and homesick at the same time. My confidence plummeted. But slowly, I started driving, made some great friends, found some activities like playgroup, Joy School, Music Makers, church involvement, tutoring, the Bahrain Writer's Circle and volunteering. And I feel like I found my sense of self again- although it is different. And I'm still less confident.


I have a friend who is going to take a year off of work and she asked me if I had any advice. I said the first few days when meeting new people at dinner parties and they say 'oh, what do you do?' that you need to have a good answer. It is all how you frame it to. My answer when we got here was 'I don't know...there was maybe a job for me...I might just stay home... maybe write?" I felt insignificant and apologetic. I wish now I had framed it more confidently. "I feel so lucky. I have the opportunity to stay home for a bit and pursue some of my hobbies like cooking and writing. I plan to teach my son preschool and do some volunteer work." Because I really was lucky. I loved the extra few years I got with my son. And I did do a lot while "at home" that I am proud of.  I think it is really in the telling....if not for other people, for yourself! My other advice to her was to find some activities right away, but not too many. A cooking class, a writer's group, a coffee hour... something scheduled. Transitions are tough.
I hope I take my own advice the next time we transition and take more of my confidence, sense of purpose and identity with me!

tourists

Hello, my name is Becky and I am an American living in Bahrain.


The expat blog challenge prompt for today is: "What the tourists never see in my town that they are really missing out on..."


I'll have to do the whole island because it is pretty small. When taking a new friend around, I consulted the 100 Things to Do in Bahrain. It was pretty comprehensive since Bahrain is tiny, but some favorites of mine tourists might not get to are the Al Khamis mosque- the oldest in Bahrain, starting from the late 700s AD- pretty amazing. I also love the King Mounds- huge burial mounds in A' Ali with modern buildings springing up next to them. There are several neat pottery places there- which some more adventurous tourists go. I love walking around Arad Bay, a park near the airport with a neat walking path around a bay with some mangroves and a flock of flamingos and herons that stops in. The archeological sites are incredible and not often visited- like the Barbar Temple, which was dedicated to Enki. So ancient!


The other things that come to mind are driving through the villages. We've been in poor neighborhoods, areas where they were selling live animals for slaughter, driven down impossibly narrow streets, afraid we couldn't get out. And it is foolish to look for trouble, but just living everyday life, we've ended up in black flag neighborhoods with graffiti and road blocks made of overturned dumpsters, bricks and old palm tree trunks, and some tire fires.

Restaurant review

Hello, my name is Becky and I am an American living in Bahrain.


Sorry- I took a hiatus from the expat blog challenge for a few days due to unexpected circumstances. I really want to catch up this weekend and hopefully keep up with the rest of the challenge.


Today's prompt was a restaurant review...so many to choose from! So instead of giving just one, maybe I'll do a quick rundown of a few:


Ponderosa: an American-style all-you-can eat buffet. You probably came because you had a coupon. So did all the other diners. And on your way out, you spin a wheel to win another coupon for a return visit. My kids love it because of the ball pit and room full of coin-operated rides. The food is okay and the wait staff is dressed in Western garb that seems out of place.


The Smurf Pizza restaurant - not its actual name, which is Baba Ghafoor I think- but it has a Smurf on its signage. Copyright is not big here. Arabic style pizza is like a piece of flat bread with some olives, peppers, feta and papperoni- spelled just like that- with an a. Strangely good. But located in a crazy narrow busy street. An adventure to get to. And ignore the strange gross water dripping from a pipe overhead and the dumpster cats giving you menacing looks as you enter.


Al Abraaj - great for reasonably priced good local fare. Locations all over Bahrain but each has its own twist. The food at the Sanad branch is always more consistently excellent than the food at the Hamala branch, which has a nicer ambiance. The one in Budaiya has better meal deals. I love the hummus and Al Abraaj bread warm from the oven, then a fattoush salad, followed by the mixed grills or lamb chops with rosemary. Or the super shawarma. It is all really good actually. And um ali for dessert- like an Arabic bread pudding- the ultimate comfort food.


Coco's - Hip, local food at a location so cool you have to be shown where it is, otherwise you will never find it. In the artsy Adiliya neighborhood. Super good, crowded on weekends, affordable. Perfect for a date. Loved my stroganoff, hamour, salads, everything I've ever ordered.


Villa Mama's - I dream about the grape chicken sometimes. Sounds strange, tastes great. The hamour is good too. Local food. More expensive than Coco's but less crowded usually. Great for a date. In Saar.


The shawarma stand by the Riffa Lulu's, the one next door to Baskin Robbins. They always remember us and are so nice- chatting with Edward. A shawarma is .300 fills- which is like $.75. Reminds me of the good ole high school days of spending my change at Taco Bell. I can feed my family for under $5. The shawarmas here are on this thin bread- not unlike a flour tortilla. The meat is so flavorful and tender. The beef / lamb mix is so good. It is warm and saucy- never dry- which is a shawarma pet peeve of mine. Love the pickle and the French fry and the lettuce. Heaven.


Baskin Robbins, Fuddruckers, KFC, Tony Roma's- there are some American chains here that we come to way more than we ever did in the states (read: never). While in the US, eating out is always significantly more, here food is expensive and labor is cheap, so eating out sometimes isn't that much more than preparing it yourself. Like ice cream at the grocery store- super expensive and a total crap shoot if you'll get the carton that melted in customs and refroze all gross. So Baskin Robbins is the way to go- just get a single cone. And despite the heat- we don't eat as much ice cream as we used to. KFC chicken is cheaper than I can make it. I've had some really bad luck with meat here-so if we want a really good, American tasting burger or steak- a nice one- as a special once every month or two treat- we will go to Fuddruckers or Tony Roma.